Diary of an Angel
by Crucified Angel Ky
Summary: There are all types of pairings, Hetero and Homo. ^_^ Let's keep our fics interesting people. Also, It'll live up to the Genre later.
1. Providence vs. Humanity

Due to the fact I've been totally lazy (and that each chapter is a cool 16 or less pages of point 10 text) I figured it's best to make this announcement now. Mostly because, let's get real. People are commenting (and I thank you all) but I've been meaning to get the revamped chapters out sooner (You know, this SCHOOL concept is really killing my writing time). So yes, read the below to understand why it's taking forever. I've been doing many a thing to this story… sorta. XD (Don't hurt me) PS> This chapter's personal revamping isn't tottaly finished. Due to this I must say that this bold text is put in purely as warning so that you understand (And so that french speakers won't kill me). {{ Breathing hard}}. Ok, I revamped the chapter. The accent is GONE...all of them. If you've read this chapter before, no point in reading it again. The same goes with the second chapter.}} 

{{ And once again I do it over again. Revamping is good for the Soul. All the language stuff… GONE! It's just not right and I now know it. Plus, I can't read French anymore. ^_^;; Yeah, after about a year or so of neglect I just cannot read French anymore. Sad, sad, but hey, if I can't read it, I sure as hell aren't gunna make you. Translation time (Thank Xterra-sama I kept them all)}}

Ok, my first Guilty Gear fic ever, and I'm totally going to butcher the game. I see it coming! This is told through the eyes of various people who have no choice but to serve my purposes... I mean! ... no, no, that's what I meant. 

Warning : This fic is destined to have Shonen ai (yaoi) in it of some sorts (Anji can't be straight). I am also a huge Sol x Ky fan. I'm actually really proud of myself, I have no intention of just DIVING into the yaoi goodness. Plus, for those of you who are open, let it be known that there are all kinds of pairings. Heterosexual and homosexual. 

So, because Fanfiction.Net just DOESN'T satisfy the requirements of a good summary. I have written it HIYA! Basically the fic is (will be) about how Ky and Sol, along with everyone else, are tied together by a thin thread of friendship and battle. As it goes, something catastrophic HAS to happen and things get bent outta wack. BEHOLD! That Man, that just doesn't seem to go away and is never really there. So, of course the Gear-Patrol (battle competitors) and the God-Squad (Seikishidan) go do what they do best. Kick ass and make it look good. Too bad Providence says that the world must be destroyed; I don't think the fighters are to hip with that. 

Providence vs. Humanity   
Heaven or Hell   
Let's Rock!

+ ~~~~ + Diary Entry Book Two + ~~~~ +

It had been a long time since I had last seen this house. Here was where my father use to retreat here when he needed a break. A lot of memories were stored in this old house of my grandfathers and as I stepped in they resurfaced, instantly calming me. I loved it; it held what was dear to me. Sloping brown roof, and Arizona white (1) walls trimmed with blue. Nothing had seemed to change. The lawn was neatly mowed and bordered with golden Star Gazers. It had rained the night before and they were still sparkling with dew. I bent down a fingered one. Watching as the drops fell to the ground and were sucked up by our earth. 

" Are you happy?" I asked it. I was hoping that it was. I had not been so jovial in the last few years. I have dedicated my existence to helping others. I've fought and won battles. Slayed gear after gear, yet, I still do not feel whole. I thought at first is had been because I lost my true family, but that was not it. The first time I crossed Justice he had told me something that I would never forget. It also made me wonder about myself. Putting my faith in my God has carried me through. That I am thankful for. He's guided and protected my men and me. Though scores have died, we that remain carried on their hopes and dreams. It is and always will be an honor. " I believe that you are."

I stood up and walked the cement driveway making it to the side door. I could see the guesthouse and the fruit trees in the back. All of the plants had been replenished. After bringing peace to the world, I was rewarded for my service to the world. They renewed this old house and had commanded me to take a vacation. I had not really wanted to leave Paris. Yet, coming back to Brest is probably the best thing I had ever done after the war. I remember this place so well, even though I had rarely visited here. After my grandparents died, my father had not returned here as often. He did not take me. It is hard to believe that I can remember so far back. Especially after loosing my memory. On the other hand, it is a Godsend that I had regained my memory. 

Upon opening the door a wave of hot air smacked me in the face, but a familiar smell loomed. This old house had been left for so long that it had no time to air out. That I am truly happy about, and then it saddens me. What is more, it could just be the wood. Old and most likely rotting, it could not be in good condition, however, not bad condition either. As it seems, they have not removed anything at all. The faded blue curtains hang on the door window. The wood had been polished. It seems being seen as world savior has its benefits. But they did not know the truth of the last battle with Justice. I shut the door behind me. 

~ Flash back ~ (2) 

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" Sol! What are you doing up there!?" I yelled. It was apparent that the people of the United Nations purposely made it so that the arena building would fall as the last battle commenced. They were going all out to make sure that Justice would die. The last ring was set about a half-mile down in the earth. The arena itself was on a platform of sorts. Fancy with all the battle trimmings. Showing the status of the persons fighting. I had known that something was not right when I saw Sol leave and follow some men in black to a crested door. He left the rest of us behind, and me almost broken body and spirit. My defeat at his hands was painful. Were we not to watch the last battle? Obviously not. 

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" Boy? What in the fuck are you doing here?! Stupid French little..." He was not able to finish his sentence as he dodged out of the way of a massive rock that hit the arena splitting it in two. Slabs of it clashed into the walls and shards rained upon me. Sol landed on the ground and then sprung back up to the dark figure slumped on the falling battleground. That's when I noticed that he had been fighting Justice. So that was the reason for the secrecy. I had heard that someone had been trying to revive him, but to succeed was beyond me. I did not know why Sol was trying to get to the gear. Justice would die with the rubble. 

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" Sol! What are you thinking? There is no reason to...!" The ground I was standing on shook violently and threw me off balance as another bolder crashed in front of me. A plank of stone about a good foot in diameter sent me reeling into the wall. I felt I was loosing consciousness but I hung on looking up as a horrid cry echoed (3) through the room. A fountain of blood followed and droplets splattered all over me. But what followed was worse; I could not see anything. The silhouette as Justice flung Sol like a rag doll, watched him hit the ground below almost face first, and slide. The gear's massive body swayed towards the edge and pools of blood overflowed down the side of the alter battlefield. He was drowning in his own blood, the Fuenken was still lodged in his chest, and he said something that only later I could figure out. 

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" You have won, brother... or is it father?" And there was a still moment. He lifted his head, screamed out his death, and fell to the ground after blood spurted out of his mouth. He landed and bounced. I covered my ears, it was the most hideous sound, breaking bones and tearing flesh. Huge stones were falling and crushing him. I couldn't take my eyes off of the massive gear. The carnage. My heart was racing on empty. I knew the color in my face must have been gone. 

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" Ky..." Came a strained call and my head snapped in its direction. Sol, I had forgotten about him. That man, the one I disliked so much. He had been able to defeat the last dangerous gear. " You... moronic boy..." He was picking himself off the ground. His pants were stained red and his vest like shirt had been ripped off. I could not see his face. This gained my attention. With his headband he could not hide his face with his hair. Where was it? That gaudy red symbol of his wild nature. I looked around and saw it in the vicinity of Justice's hand. Had he been holding it? I finally found the strength to stand and weakly pushed myself up using the wall. 

__

" What… Has happened here? Sol...?" My face went blank has he finally stood up in full view. My eyes were immediately draw to the faintly glowing red symbol on his head. What was it, a claw mark? No, it was a demented lotus. The lines were glowing red. What? Was he a GEAR?! Sol Badguy, the rudest and most undisciplined man on the face of the earth was a gear? How could this be? 

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" Boy, stop staring and get your fucking ass in gear! (4) You have to get the hell out of here! If you haven't noticed, this building is falling!" He ran over to Justice and pulled the Fuenken out. By this time it had sunk in. It was time to make our exits. Sol ran over to me and jerked his head in the direction of the double doors. They had started to fall off of their hinges. We dashed for the exit and barely made it through the doors as they jerked down and were blocked by rocks. We were not out of the chaos yet. The halls were also collapsing and it was a good four hundred or so steps. We jumped up them. Skipping steps and only concentrating on the exit ahead of us. My heart was pounding. I was still recovering from my encounter with the wall. I couldn't keep my head up fully and missed a step. A strong hand caught me and pulled me back into position making me run again. 

__

" Don't fucking dare get killed in here, boy." Came a hoarse voice and I struggled to be independent. He let go of me and we finally, after what felt like forever, made it to the doors. They had locked the doors. 

__

" They have locked the doors!" 

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" Seems we'll have to just break 'em down!" He rammed into the door with his shoulder." Damn! They're metal!" 

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" Sol?" I couldn't think at that time so I turned to him for answers. 

__

" I can melt the lock with Fuenken, but have you any idea how long that's gunna take?" He tapped the door with his finger." These things are solider than shit." He spat on the ground and sighed. However, that did not take my mind totally off the fact that the hall behind us was falling apart. 

__

" Then... what will we do? We are stuck, no?" I listened to myself and it almost sounded casual. I turned my attention to the door. " Maybe..." He turned to me with a very sullen face, " Maybe, we can blow them open? Do you think that is possible?" 

__

" Well, you have my praise... yeah, sure we can... if you don't mind suffering BACK LASH!" I was a little crushed by his words. His brow wrinkled and then something came to him. " On the other hand... " He looked at me and I saw a spark of something, " If you're willing, which you SHOULD be, we can use our power to make Fuenken hot enough to..." I followed him and shook my head in agreement. I wasn't going to question him right now. It was not the time to ask questions. He crouched near the crack and found the lock. He lifted the Fuenken jerkily and I put my hands on his steadying him. I had not noticed that a good portion of the blood on him, must have been his own. He was weakening by the second. 

__

" Alright, Sol. I am with you..." We focused our energy making the Fire Seal turn bright red. It was letting off heat waves but not flares. Slowly it started to turn almost white and we applied it to the door crack and heard the metal virtually sizzle as the sword melted it. It was like watching a knife through butter, but much slower. Finally the Fuenken surged forward and I had to catch us both. 

__

" NOW!" I said. We both pushed on the door and it slowly opened. It did not creek in the slightest but it was such a heavy door. It mechanically opened so pushing it was very hard. We had finally made it out of the building when the entire thing quaked and slip; falling inside of itself. The rest of the contestants were waiting outside. They were all stunned as they gazed upon Sol's forehead. I could not blame them, who in the world would have ever thought that Sol could be a gear? A rude ruffian he was, but a gear? Anji, one of the last purebred Japanese walked forward and toward Sol. I couldn't help feeling sorry for Sol, he almost looked pitiful. Bloody, bleeding, and weakened from loss. He could barely stand correctly. Anji put a hand on his shoulder, absolutely calm. 

__

" Are you all right?" Anji's genteel voice came. Sol stood up almost defiantly and nodded. A smile came to Anji's lips and he nodded back reaching into his sleeve and producing a red belt. It was thick and he perfectly wrapped it around Sol's forehead concealing his mark. "You should not keep this uncovered." and Anji was right. For the first time, I think Sol was truly grateful for Anji's consideration. Though I couldn't hear understand him, I'm sure Sol must have thanked Anji in Japanese. Anji backed up. 

__

" See ya, Sol. Take care!" He walked off swaying his hips with natural grace. The rest of the group didn't have the time to say anything to Sol because he turned to me. 

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" Keep yourself alive, kid!" And he laughed coarsely turning towards the red Harley that was in his possession and rode off. 

~ Flash Present ~ 

I was a little mystified at that day. I sensed no malice in him and he and I had worked together. I did not know how to react to him anymore. Before hand, I would have done everything in my power to stay away from him, but this time was much different. I think it is because we were in a life and death situation, and those things change people. I no longer can see Sol in the same exact light anymore. 

I walked past the tiled kitchen into the stair well and climbed the steps. They creaked a bit and I felt a warming comfort. I finally turned the corner and walked down the hall listening, as the wood made no sounds. It seems they replenished the wood on the second floor. I turned the knob to my father's room. Even when he was married he stayed only in his own room after his father died. I looked at the room. Nothing had changed. I sat down on his small single bed and felt the quilt. It had been made by his mother. It was green trimmed with white and gold crests. I looked over to the old bookcase that held all of my father's favorite things. To his mother's pendant and ring to his small collection of diaries. 

" The journal of my father." I got up and fingered their edges and found the earliest one. It was pitch black with only his name engraved in it. " Raiu." There were three volumes of them. Father had always told me that a diary should only contain passages that were important. That there was no point in wasting paper on something that wasn't truly influencing. That is why there are only three of them. I thumbed threw it a second and noticed that it was written in Icelandic and then sharply turned to English. I did not understand why my father would have done that. 

The first part, of which was in Icelandic, talked about his mother's death. He wrote of how lonely he was and that his father was an idiot. He hated his father for deciding to move to France when he wanted to stay in Iceland. My father had always said that he missed his true home, but for us, he would stay. I had loved him for his consideration, and that is why I had insisted on him being cremated so that I could return him to his home when I was old enough. I did that when I was given leave from the Seikishidan years ago. I had returned his body to the earth and I'm sure that his soul was finally at rest. 

I read on, and found out that my father's hatred of his stepmother was from day one. It was not because she was a naturally spiteful woman, but because his father had married so quickly. It had been about a year and he had already remarried. I guess he could not take the fact that his father had replaced his wife so quickly. I too, would have been sad about such a thing. He also made many entries of how he hated his stepsisters. 

I was actually amazed with myself. My father had taught me a lot of Icelandic when I was young, but I never thought that I'd remember enough of it to be able to read some of his diary. I admit that there was some that I could not read, but I could put the pieces together. 

What then caught me was his sixteenth diary entry. My father had written about a man named 'Sol.' I could not believe that my father had known Sol! 

" It could not be the same person, could it?" It could not be! Sol looked about 30 or a little less than that. It could not be the same person! Or was it? 

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Date : April 19, 2138 

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I know I haven't written in you for a while, but hey, nothing import ever happens. Today those French punks tried to beat me up again. They think I can't understand their French, but they're wrong. They get pissed OFF when I speak Icelandic. It's really fun to bug them, but I guess I over did it this time. I've decided to write in English from here on because my stepmother and sisters can't read it. Damn whores! Oh, back to the bastard French. So they grabbed me and dragged me into a shallow ally. I admit to being scared. No shame in it. They punched me I bled. Pretty simple. My knee is still bleeding but I don't care. If my REAL mother was still alive I know she would have patched me up A.S.A.P. but that's not the important part. I couldn't see the boys, but all I do recall while my eyes were closed is a voice call out. I could understand some of it, but most of it was blurred out by the voices of the boys. They cleared away from me. I saw a moderately tall man looking straight at us. He had a massive sword on his back. It was HUGE! One of the boys murmured something about 'bounty hunter' and I latter found out that he was right. The man that latter introduced himself as 'Sol Badguy' said to them, " Five against one... only little punks fight that way. If I weren't in so much pain I would have laughed. They ran away. Ha! Cowards! He helped me up and I introduced myself and he told me his name. After exchanging some words he told me to run along home. So here I am. Oh, well got to go, the cows are mooing for me. Bye. 

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+ Raiu 

I was bewildered. My father had known Sol? It was an unmistakable description. Moderately tall man. Sol was only six feet. Huge Sword. Only Sol would carry around his sword in public. Also, his sword before the Fuenken, which isn't really HIS by right, was very big. Bounty hunter. Sol is a bounty hunter. It was not as if there were not other bounty hunters, but with my father's description and the name. It could only be Sol. 

How on this green earth had Sol been around so long ago? And as an adult? It just isn't possible. On the other hand…Him being a gear makes it almost believable. How old was Sol, really? I had looked at his profile, but I can't seem to remember the exact age he put. I know it was in the 30 or less area. Even so, he still wouldn't be that much older than I. That's also adding that his arrival into my life was about 10 years ago. Reading on I discovered that he hadn't left France. 

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Date : April 20, 2138 

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I ran into Sol again. I was throwing rocks into a pond. Actually, I should have been at home but fuck them. They don't care. I had been thinking about him. A bounty hunter. He sat next to me and asked what I was up to. My first response was 'none of your business.' I quickly apologized but he just laughed. That's when I found out that he was American. Seems I won't be able to get away with cussing, but he didn't care. That was a strange. We joked a lot today. I've never felt this comfortable with anyone else. Not since my mother anyhow. He only smiles when prompted. The vibes he gives off are lulling. Maybe even lacking. I don't know. Mother always told me I had good insight, but I can't feel him like others. The energy he gives off is very different. A soft hum. I could say that, but it's so fierce at the same time. It almost scares me, but I know I'm too intrigued to pay attention too much. I'll probably get into trouble with the Cow is she finds out I'm spending my time with a stranger. Oh, damn! The Cows are beckoning! See ya! 

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+ Raiu 

It seems my father liked Sol. I could not believe it. That rude man actually made friends with my father. I always knew that Sol was American, but I had never known that he spoke French. I had never really spoken French to him so I guess that I could not find out. It doesn't surprise me that Sol is so relaxed with the way people speak to him. An animal-like creature as he should not care. However, he does look human, and as long as he wears that headband, he will continue to fool people. It's almost sickening. To think, human's worse enemy walks among them, and they do not even know it. At the same time, I have no right to feel such scorn towards others. He once walked among us, with me, and by my side in battle. A faint fondness of him makes itself clear to me when I think of him and battle. He was a skilled fighter. Rough and rugged at times, but plainly skilled. He knew what he was doing. His style was to off-set people into thinking he was fresh of the fighting blood. 

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Date : April 21, 2138 

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The bitch-meister threw a fit because I didn't come straight home yesterday. Ha! She told me I'd better come home today. I didn't. She banished me to my room and father came to talk to me. I told him to get the hell out. I threw a pillow at him. He left. Why would I want to come home when I can talk to Sol? He's so interesting. He won't talk much about his past, but he knows so much! It's like he has seen it all. Maybe he has. I finally figured out the vibes I'm getting from him. He can't be human. I told him that. He smiled and gave me a look. I asked him what he was, but he didn't answer, he just looked sad. I didn't bring it up again. I feel bad about asking him. I had hit some kind of nerve and I regretted it. I only wanted him to be happy. I know I've become attached to him, and that's bad. I know it's because no one I have ever met has been like him. Where I can talk to them without hesitation. Save for my mother, she always understood. He said he was leaving today. I hate that. I wish he'd stay in France, but I didn't even ask. I could tell there was no changing his mind. I watched him leave. I asked him if he'd ever be back again. He said our paths might cross again. He also said he'd be looking for me if he were around. I hope to see him soon, but I have this feeling it will be a long time. I told him I'd miss him. He looked sad again, and that hurt me. I hate that look. The one he gives me is pure, could Sol be an angel? I'd believe it. Shit! Cow and Co. are summoning me to a family meeting. We're probably going to talk about shit I don't care about. Go figure!! 

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+ Raiu 

Sol? An angel? Far from it, dear father. He could claim to be the Devil himself, and I would believe it. Yes, my father had such a high opinion of Sol. I could not understand my father. At times I had sensed the good or bad in people. My father told me I got it from his side of the family. Had I not felt Sol accurately? Or had he changed so dramatically since that time? I would have to talk to him to find out. Maybe I could find him again. It wouldn't be easy.

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Date : April 22, 2138 

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Allumé yelled at me yesterday. As I had thought, she bitched at me for being home late. She also bitched about Sol. Seems one of the step bitches spied on me. She only saw the last day with Sol. She pissed me off so much. How could she ever understand!? How DARE she describe Sol as a brutish looking and scary!? Has she looked at herself in the morning? It seems not. How would she even know what he's like!? I'm outraged (4)!! He's nothing like that! I can tell that he's really a sweet guy. NOT in the sense of rose petal baths, but a calm understanding. He had gorgeous eyes, ochre. They weren't cruel, and his aura is soothing! I hate them. They didn't know anything. He's a good person. I know he is. So, anyway, step bitches and Cow (a.k.a. Allumé) asked me two thousand questions about him I didn't answer any of them. I got up and here I am. I can hear then down stairs, talking about who he was. They got one thing right he was a bounty hunter. He is strong. I think the sword on his back says that. They're going on and on. Wha!? One of them thinks he's a drug dealer? Oh yeah, Sol the crack head angel... whoa, God's requirement sheet must be slipping. Arg! They're bellowing for me again. Probably trying to succeed in their interrogation. Morons!! 

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+ Raiu 

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P.S. I'm back! I just finished my homework and this urge is killing me. I must tell you. So they started asking questions again. At one point I told them he was my pimp and I was working that street. If only you could see their faces!! My dreams are going to be humorous tonight. 

I had always known that my father had held an acute hatred of his step mother and sisters. He had never said a kind word in their honor. Nevertheless, I could not ignore the fond words of my farther. He spoke of Sol with a tender care. Barely knowing a man and calling him an angel. Maybe one of death. On the other hand, what did I know of Sol? I barely knew him. Still, I was having a hard time trusting him, and everything else. It was hard on me, I did not know what to make of everything I had experienced at Sol's hand. When I was a young teenager I had thought of him as a rude mongrel. Never truly taking orders. Ignoring me and only half listening to the battle commands. But what I know got to me. Is that he already knew, as if he were reading my mind. Thus, he brushed off my lectures. Not only that, he had not needed my guidance. I know that I was crestfallen. To be made nothing in his eyes. Yes, that is be it. 

" I see…"I whispered to myself. Have I been put on a pedestal so high that I did not know what it was like to not be admired? Yes. I was so consumed with my duty, this honor, that I forgot that in the eyes of some, I was still just a child. A mere babe that needed handling. 

I read the rest of my father's diary. The rest was filled with accounts of people that came in and out of his life. From time to time he mentioned Sol in a very longing fashion. I shook my head. To think that Sol was just that important. The Diary ended December 24, 2141. It was a entry about how he had gotten what he wanted and was left alone. He had wanted peace and quiet. The rest of the household had gone to the mountains to ski giving him days to be alone. 

I put the book back and noticed the sun was setting. I had perfect view of it. The green land becoming dark. The cloud florescent orange red and fading to a bright yellow. The sun setting slowly in rays of golden beams and the orange disk disappearing into the line. I started to take off my armor and got dressed for bed. I decided to wear my father's clothes. He and I wore the same size. For me, there was not a lot of packing I had to do to come here. That was a relief in itself. I laid back on my father's bed. I was warm these days and the heat was settling. I looked over to the Furaiken. She was vibrant with power but dull in spirit. I do not know what happened, but she did not seem the same anymore. I believe that after the war she had died. I did not use her anymore. I was hoping that she was all right. I reached over to her and set her vertically on my chest. 

" Are you sick?" I said jokingly and sighed. The pillow was soft against my head and I shut my eyes. Regardless of how much I tried to stop myself. I couldn't get my mind off of my father's diary. I wanted to talk to Sol personally. Even if it meant being in his presence. Surely I could not reach him by phone, but this situation and knowledge was tearing at my heart. It hurt me and a dull pain swelled inside of me. Who was my father? Was there something Sol knew that I didn't? It was painful to think of. I, his son, did not know him better than a man he had barely met. Someone who had left him and gone off to do other things for years on end. They didn't seem like official friends at all. I crossed my hands over the Furaiken's hilt. My hands rested quite comfortably over it. I took a breath and focused my energy into it. Testing the waters. Trying to reach the Fuenken in a mere signal, not a full throttle request. 

~ Opole, Poland ~ 

I was resting in my hotel bed, minding my own business, when the Fuenken started to faintly glow. This of course was odd. I then remembered what this meant. Why did the boy decide to talk to me now. The first time he damn near had a heart attack. I laughed thinking of the first time that he had found out that the swords were connected. Maybe I shouldn't have put that function into them. Then again, I didn't know that the person to wield Fuenken's other half would be such a pansy. That pretty boy couldn't handle it. I laughed at the thought. It seems I was too much for him. 

I reached out and took the sword into my hand and leaned back. I was actually amazed he had even thought twice about using this method. Then again, it's not like you can catch me on a cell. I closed my eyes and allowed him to fully connect with my sword. I could feel his soul rejecting me a bit, but eventually it gave up and merged with mine. It's a very intimate process. Allow your soul to touch and consume another. To be consumed by that person. While one could not peer into the mind of a person; one COULD feel their soul. People thought sex was the ultimate way to connect. They didn't know shit! Not that I was WILD about sharing myself with the boy this way. I just didn't have anything to hide from him. Plus, knowing that little girl, he just wanted to say a quick sentence, get an answer, and then jet. I went into a state of limbo like awareness. I could not see him. There was no light. It just felt as if he was filling me. (7) It was not uncomfortable. He was warm and liquid. Almost as if I were holding him and the process was finally complete. Our souls had merged perfectly together. 

" Alright, wadda ya want, boy?" I said in a very lazy tone. 

" Sol. I shall be frank with you. Did you know my father?" He was being stern with me, but I knew why. He didn't hate me anymore, he never had. He just didn't want to give me any more of himself than he had too. However, he knew that in this state I could feel his emotions. There was no escape from me, he had to be sharp. Feelings and words. Sure, the boy couldn't read my mind, but my feelings were set out on a friggin' platter before him. 

"Me? Know your father? Yeah, I did." I said in a mocking tone. " What of it?" I said. If I could have, I would have crossed my arms, but he knew I was in a curt humor. " Alright kid, what do you want to know?" 

" First. Will you please STOP addressing me as a child?" His annoyance pleased me, and he knew it. So he gave up. I could feel his defeat. " 'Ow could you have possibly known my father? You do not seem that old." 

" Boy," I mentally sighed feeling a bit strained, " I'm older than you think. Did that symbol on my head not register with you? Take an educated guess. I'm a gear, stupid." I would have rolled my eyes if it were a possibility. 

" I see." He said after thinking for a while. I watched or more of felt him. His emotions changing. Bewilderment, shock, and to anger. Then a calm understanding. He finally returned to 'normal' and all was well. Then he became nervous. 

" Boy," I was becoming annoyed with his changing moods and stalling. " Listen. I realize you're pushed for time. Would you rather I meet you in person?" I mentally snorted." It's obvious you are uncomfortable with this 'arrangement'." He could tell I was becoming tired. He could feel it. I felt his soul light up at the mention though. This was getting uncomfortable for him. He couldn't handle it like I could. Oh well, poor little babe. I laughed out into our conversation. He was curious. 

" Well, I am in France as you know. It is a long tip from you, is it not?" I could tell he almost wanted it to be. 

" I'm in Poland, kid. You ain't THAT far. Oh, boo-hoo for you, now ain't it?" I said inwardly smirking. 

" Last I heard 'ain't' is not a word." 

" Boy! Don't correct my American. If ain't, ain't (8) a word, then why am I using it?" I said curtly. I was not in the mood to hear some French boy tell me how to speak my own language. What the hell would he know? 

" Well, I guess it is..." 

" That's right, now shut your pie hole, boy. I don't have time for this! Now do ya want me to tell you about your father or not?" My offhand manner was starting to annoy him. That's good, and I know he felt my satisfaction. 

" Fine. Sol, please come to my father's old house. It is..." 

" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Think I wouldn't know where your old man use to live? Hello, junior. Wake up!" I would have waved my hands in front of his eyes if it were possible. His high-and-mighty attitude started to kick in here. Man, it was fun to tease this boy. It was so easy to do. I would live this all over again just to bug him. 

" Then I will see you there." He started to recede from me. I was being ripped apart. This was the painful part and it hurt like a mother fucker. You thought having a gash was painful. Ha! You're all a bunch of yellow bellied, skirt wearing, pansies. Then again, so is Ky. This was tearing your soul in two. For a long time afterwards I knew that I would not feel complete. I'd give it about five hours of heart dropping emptiness. That's what it felt like to part after separating. 

I was finally left alone. I opened my eyes. They felt sore. I moved the Fuenken and set it aside allowing myself to relax under the pain and hollowness. This process is always a real bitch. I put many hands under my head a tried to sleep. So I would be visiting Kiske. Ha, that was a joke almost. I had wanted to see him. He was a lot of fun. I'm pretty sure our encounter will be very interesting. Yet something was tugging at me. Raiu, his father, was my first affection. Even as a young boy, he had qualities that were desirable. A cute little boy. Though I have never really been into boys. In fact, I had not even cared to make friends of any sorts since I had been turned into a gear. It just did not click with me. It was also useless. When I had first became a gear, I was hit with the fact that I would have to watch the people I cared about die before my eyes. Withering away, and I could do nothing to prevent it. Who on this earth would WILLINGLY become a gear? 

I closed off my emotions as much as possible and waited for sleep to take me. It wasn't coming soon enough and all of my memories of that boy were resurfacing. Raiu, I'm sorry I hadn't been able to protect you. When the gears had hit that part of France. I just couldn't get there fast enough. I wanted to save you, but all that was left was the little one. Among the rubble there were bodies everywhere, yet the boy had made it through. I soon found out why. You had struggled to get him out. 

~ Flash Back ~ 

__

It had been a cool day in France. I hated the cold but it didn't bother me much any more. Weather hadn't affected me in a long time. Being a gear had it's ups and downs. Sure, I could beat the crap out of just about every human, but it still hurt me to watch them in fear. Even if they didn't know I was a gear. The fact that I was a gear period made me feel like a stranger in places that I had been in for long periods of time. I was turning the corner of an old building when I saw a bunch of brats drag a kid into an alley. I didn't really care, but then I thought about it. I might as well do my good deed for the year right now and get it over with. So I walk over to the boys and of course insult the little punks. They of course were drawn to my sword. Yep, that's one way to let people know you're not all talk. You know what they say. Speak softly and carry a big sword. I have just that. So after shooing away the little pains in my ass. I face the one they were about to totally pulverize. 

__

He was a cute little thing. A total mama's boy. He was dirty blond. All bangs and had shortly shaved hair in the back. What style. Mama's boy! He had serious green eyes. Big as hell but he was obviously not an idiot. I smiled at him. More like a grin. I put out a hand and he took it. What a light little thing he was. 

__

" My name is Raiu, Raiu Jasonson." He was such a little punk, I could tell. 

__

" Ah, might you be Icelandic?" I said very pleased for some odd reason. 

__

" How, how did you know?" he was amazed. 

__

" I get around kid." That's right, I knew about Icelandic ways. The people of Iceland do not have last names. Well, in a sense. They just adopt their parents given name and slap on son or dottir. It's a very simple system. It can confuse the hell out of people. But that will teach ya to take down numbers and addresses. " Anyway, I'm Sol. Sol Fredrickson. Actually, it's Badguy, but, eh, why not?" He smiles at me. 

__

" It feels nice talking to someone with knowledge of my home country." He took a step and stumbled a bit. he was bleeding at the knee and it was messing him up. 

__

" Raiu. I suggest that you fly home." I think he understood the joke. His name was not American or Icelandic. He nodded and started down the street. 

__

" Bye, wondering spirit!" He said and disappeared around the corner. Ok, see God? I did it, now don't bug my conscience ever again! Or at least not for the rest of the year. I snorted. Thinking as if I really believed in him. Or maybe he had existed. Who knew? 

~ Flash Present ~ 

Meeting that boy changed my life, a lot, but watching him die was devastating. It hadn't even really hit me till about a year after his death. When I watched his young son go from orphanage to orphanage. The gears were reeking havoc on France. It seems Justice had wanted to take it out. The gears had come from the sea and rapidly, they mutated to fit the requirements of land. Evolution in motion. The Seikishidan at that time finally showed up and saved the day. But not before about seventy percent of France was in ruins. I, of course, could not take that many gears. 

~ Flash Back ~ 

__

I jumped down and took young Kiske into my arms. He, as expected, was crying. I couldn't look into his eyes any more than a few seconds. I just felt so guilty. My project had escalated into hell. My own selfish heart made it possible for all of this to happen. I looked around as the gears had missed me and were dying in the vicinity. I could hear their screams and the crash of flesh ripping on metal. Buildings were crumbling and dropping massive chunks everywhere. Furniture slid and landed in heaps. It didn't mater anymore, I guess. Their owners must have been dead by now. Bodies were everywhere. Dismantled and flung about like puppets. Then a renegade gear turned the corner. He looked straight at me. Knowing what I was. He did know that I was not on his side. For him, that was all that mattered. He laid a heavy foot down and started to jog towards me. I jumped back and took out my sword. His buddies decided to join him. 

__

" Great. Shit!" I took my sword and performed a Dragon Install. It ripped them apart and scattered their flesh. I was making my way around the buildings when I ran into the Seikishidan. Not just them, but I wasn't very far from their leader. Kliff turned to see me decimate a gear before bounding off. I watched him leave and thought nothing of it. He wasn't the only swordsmen around. I laughed at the thought and carried the young one off. I landed on a church were people had run to. It was the same church that the little one liked to go to. The one I escorted him to. i flew down and was immediately approached by the sister there. She and I both watched over Ky a lot. She took him already knowing the fact he must have suffered. I nodded to her. 

__

" Take good care of him, Sister." I turned to walk away but was stopped by the boys cute voice. It was filled with pain and confusion. The reality wouldn't set in too quickly and I couldn't help but want to comfort him again. I held him for a while, and allowed him to cry. Shed the tears that I can't, boy. Because I'm a gear, and we do not cry. The sister patiently waited for us to finish. Her gray eyes were sad and full of remorse. What did it feel like to have such feelings? I had forgotten in time. 

__

" Don't leave me!" He whimpered and I patted his head. Why did Ky have to suffer? 

__

" Sorry, Kid, can't take you with me. Heh, don't worry, I'll see oyu again" He kissed me and I handed him back to the Sister. Partings and saying good-byes was never me. It was not good, and I didn't really want to leave him. I had, for an instant, thought of raising him myself. Then I snapped back to reality. There is no way in hell a bounty hunter can take care of a child. He needed a stable life; the one I couldn't give him. 

__

" You're not lying, I can see it in your eyes." The Sister said to me. 

__

" He's like family." I said repentantly. I was not pulling anyone's leg. Though I felt that I would not see him for a while. I knew that I would one day search for him. I would find him, and let him know that he was not an orphan of the world. Someone had known him since his days of young. So I left him that day. In his little sailor schoolboy attire. 

~ Flash Forward ~ 

Who would have thought that that little punk would grow up to hate me. Granted, he was just a child when he last saw me, but the boy remembered his father. I would have thought he would have remembered me. I had a special bond with him. It didn't make sense. I had thought about that a lot when I was in the Seikishidan. I even asked Kliff if something had happened to the boy. I found out something had. While Ky was still at the orphanage he was helping out the nuns. Go figure, the sister's boy. While lifting books a Illuminated Bible fell on his head. Illuminated Bible? And he LIVED through it? Well I'll be damned! So he lost his memory temporarily. He only seemed to really remember his sister and father. His mother he had faint memories of. And, according to Kliff, he had memories of a man in a silhouette with white bat wings. Yes, that was me, but unfortunately the boy didn't have a clear enough picture to get it through his head that it was me. I use to think that anime and life had nothing in common. Low and behold, the perfect anime situation. Lost memories, and a boy torn between his faith and his love of justice. Just to top it off, throw in the guy that the kid, or hero in this case, can't seem to recall well and POW. Geez, reality is SUCH a drama queen. I know exactly what's going to happen. The kid's gunna get whacked in the head by my sword, or any other heavy object, and POW. Memories restored. What is this, Chrono Cross? Sailor Moon? Ronin Warriors!? 

God damn it! I wanna go to sleep now! Not later, now! Some of us would like to forget our past, thank you! I didn't want to think of such things. My life had been a blur after I became a gear. I was surprised that with I first reveled what I was Baiken hadn't killed me. I didn't stick around long thought. After saving the boy's ass I didn't want to stay. Anji had been kind enough to give me his belt. I cleaned it and sent it back to him. I guess shit happens this way. Finally sleep has taken me, about DAMN time. 

+ ~~~~ + Diary Entry Book Two + ~~~~ +  
Zeero's Notes : 

Woo, had to revamp this chapter a bit. After siting in my bed and waking up form a GG dream (where I was Ky and I killed Sol) i started to really think and I BELIEVE I _FINALLY_ got all the GG story line straight in my head. Now why the hoo-ha I didn't figure it out before blows my mind. 

Some of you may be wondering, "Why does Sol and Raiu curse so much" and it's not because I don't have language skills or whatever, but because I figure after all those years, Sol would just stop caring. I know I would! Plus, it's from his point of view so he can tell it how I wish ^_^. Raiu? Well he's supposed to be a disrespectful brat in a lot of ways. Kind of a rebel and stuff, it's just apart of him. As you can see Ky doesn't curse like a drunken sailor nor will any others.

I decided against having the accent while not talking verbally. Makes it easier on me.   
1. Yes, there is such a color.   
2. Makes it less confusing don't you think? No beating around the bush here peoples.   
3. GODZILLA!   
4. Pun not intended.   
5. Damn, this sounds so sexual.   
6. Actually, I found 'ain't' in the dictionary. I'm serious.   
Ain't : 1. a. Are not b. is not c. am not   
There's a lot more to the definition but I ain't going into it. Look it up for yourselves if ya ain't too lazy. I ain't your damn English teacher. ^_^ 

Translations : Are no longer here. No more French of THIS story Let alone any other language. 


	2. Past vs. Present

{{ As well this chapter has been changed. Also, for the ones that are impatient, hold your horses. Give me a chance to finish the third chapter, and all will be disclosed!}} 

I'm back! This fic should have more conversation since Sol and Ky are going to meet up. I'll try to throw in some more comical scenes, because Kami knows I can't stay serious to save my life. I decided to change view point from time to time. 

Warning : Very mild lime. More like indication because I, in no way, get graphic. Also, sap is everywhere. YOu might want to break out the milk cause I know from experience that sap can be as bad as peanut butter. 

Also : I have changed the rating a bit because of the lime, even though it is mild, because I believe it is a little necessary. (pokes tumbleweed) 

€~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry Book Two ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~€   
~ Brest, France ~ 

After a few hours I had arrived at the old home of Raiu's parents. I actually remember it quite well. Nothing had seemed to change and the house looked perfect. It had been a very long time since I had walked these streets. Names have been forgotten and stores have been closed along these roads, but my body still remembers. I almost do not know why; I had only once come in the vicinity of the house and I had never entered it. I went to the side door and knocked. It was about noon so I was sure he was having croissants or something frenchy like that. 

He opened the door and a gust of sweet smelling air hit my face. It smelled like tea. Go figure little Kiske would be drinking tea. That teacup collection of his must come in handy. He wasn't wearing his uniform and I shouldn't have thought this odd, but this is the boy I'm talking about here. He was in jeans. Blue, all American, nowhere near fancy, JEANS! I could have died if it weren't for the fact that would've been rude. Then again, since when did I ever give a shit about being rude. But, because he is such a loyal little one, he was wearing the top to his uniform with those exposed shoulders and belts. 

" Bonjour, Sol." He said to me a little gloomily and that told me his sleep hadn't been that great. 

" Salut, Kiske." I replied plainly and he moved back, allowing me in. This was the first time I had ever entered this house but it didn't feel odd to me. Probably because it had the same calming smell as Raiu. I walked in and he directed me to a seat at the table and I sat down. He sat on the other side and finished off his tea. 

" Est-ce que vous voulez du thé, Sol?" He gestured with his right hand towards the elaborate blue pot. It looked as if it were porcelain. 

" Non, merci." I shook my head slowly. I sat back a little and watched the boy put away his dishes after cleaning them. It was amazing for me; That the little boy I left so long ago had not really changed at all. I watched him for a while and noticed that his aura had not changed at all, which led me to believe that he had not grown up very well. I looked out the window to see the Star Gazers blooming. I remember these flowers from long ago. 

" Sol?" I jerked my head in his direction and looked at him. He seemed sad; I think that Raiu's diary might have revealed too much for him to handle. Oh God, especially if it was his last one. He sat back at the table and I watched him. He didn't seem 27 this way. He felt as old as when I had left him. He still had a cute pout and the ability to draw emotions from me. I had to admit to myself that i did not want to tell him his past. 

" Yes, boy?" I said that on purpose but without any true brusque tones to it. I had done so to arouse the boy but it had not worked. He intertwined his fingers and leaned on them with his elbows on the table. Well, what kind of manners are those, boy? Aren't you French? What is wrong with you? Yet, I knew that was not it in the slightest. His eyes were down cast and he wouldn't even look at me. I guess that's his pride being hurt. Having to call me in order to get answers about himself. I would have smirked if not for my own emotions telling me to be kind to him; Raiu's lost little boy. 

" I read the first diary," He said dolefully and slow. " It held information about you in it..." I had to hold back a smart remark but I lived. He shifted a bit and finally looked at me. His eyes weren't cold and he didn't try to hide anything. As if he could hide from me. I have been around too long to know when people are hiding from me, especially the boy. " Sol, what was your relationship with my father?" 

" Your father? I didn't know your father." My heart was becoming a bit heavy. I had not wanted to tell him this EVER, but knew it would be a sin not to tell him. Even if he was not prepared for it. He gave me a slightly quizzical look. " Yes, you obviously have not read the rest of your father's diaries. " Listen Ky," I used his name for affect. " Raiu Jasonson was not your father." I looked out of the window as the child's brain started to process the possibilities to why I would say such a thing. 

" Sol, why would you...?" He cut himself off. I turned back to him. My eyes were only half open, as if I were truly tired. 

" Ky," I turned fully to him and gained his full attention. " You are not Raiu's biological son. In other American words you are an illegitimate child." I had wanted to say something much coarser but for the boy, how could I shatter his world with cruelty? Especially when I had cared very much for his family. Well, what is considered caring on the scale of a gear? He was in shock. He had figured it out. No, he had not been adopted, and no he was in no true blood way related to Raiu. 

" Had... had, my sister?" He held himself in a dispiriting sadness. I hated myself for a few moments for telling him. Now he really looked like a child. 

" No, your sister was the product of your mother and Raiu." I said quiet deadly. Hey, give me a prize. I have succeeded in totally shattering any holy illumination that the boy had of his family. 

"... I am a bastard?" The question was more to himself than to me, but I answered anyway. 

" Yeah, basically." I closed my eyes for a few seconds. When I opened them the little thing (1) was on the verge of crying. I would have originally thought that he was being a little pansy, but I knew that wasn't it. Kiske lived a very religious life. For him, it was hard to think that his parents had not lived happily together, completely satisfied with one another. The Bible had not helped his mentality either. Hell, in the Bible, it is considered adultery to even look upon another with lust, let alone actually doing the act. As I had known, the boy strived to live his life by the Bible. Just like the rest of the Seikishidan, but even more. I think that it was one of the few things that kept him afloat. 

" How did it happen?" The boy didn't really want an answer by his downcast tone but I think his curiosity was getting the best of him. Then again, could anyone blame him? He had only had a family for a couple of years. 

" Well, actually, I was only skipping though when I met you, but as for your birth. All I know from Raiu is that you were born and he knew from the word go that you were not his son. I am not sure how much you remember, but your sister was always with you. Do you remember that?" He nodded at me and I saw his eyes water. Man, boy, do not cry in front of me. That is the thing I hate most in the world. " Well, you sister had protected you form knowing the truth, as did the rest of your family, but your sister took it upon herself to clear any of your mothers influences. Don't think that you two were not related; she is your sister by half blood. Méloné had loved you so much, that she didn't want any of your mother's bad qualities to rub off. I think she succeeded." 

" Oh, then who is my real father?" He said though his mood remained unchanged. 

" Geez, what was his name again? God, I think it was, Sébastien. Yes, that's his name. Hell, kid, I have no clue if he is still alive." I shrugged. 

" Do I look like him?" He said unchanging. 

" Yeah, I saw the guy often, and you look a lot like him." I tried to sound laid back though in reality I very much wanted to believe that bastard to be dead. 

" You saw him often?" He sat back with his chin damn near in his chest. 

" Yeah, he often tried to see you. But your sister, being protective as she is, was always on the lookout. I helped her out at times because I liked you. I liked your sister too, so I talked to her often and since she was always with you, I saw you often as well." he looked up at me. 

" You helped her?" He said looking at me with heavy eyes. 

" Sure I did. Like I said, I liked you and I was fond of you so I didn't want that bastard near you." I shifted and leaned on the table. " Listen, Kiske, when you were young, our relationship was much different." 

" I do not remember you." He rubbed his head. 

" Yeah, I know, Kliff told me about your little accident. Plus, when I went to see you, you never knew I was watching. I didn't want you to know at that time. You were pretty upset when I left you the first time." He looked straight at me and I blinked. " Yeah, I had taken you to the church when you had been orphaned. 

" So it was YOU!" I almost jumped by the raise in his voice. " Now I remember. Sol, why did you not say anything when we first met again in the Seikishidan?" He was livelier now. That was a relief. 

" Well, we really didn't meet on friendly terms now did we?" I raised an eyebrow. 

" Well, no, but you could have said something." That pitiful look on his face had finally vanished. I smiled at him. 

" I'm here now, ain't I boy?" He nodded and seems relieved. " Plus, after that book whacked you on the head, you forgot a lot. Hell, do you remember your mother? 

" Yeah, but only a little." 

" Hell, don't worry kid, there isn't much to remember of her. She was an unimportant factor of your life anyway. Plus, your dad, Raiu, wouldn't allow you to be near her since he had grown to dislike her." I shrugged again and sat back even more. Listen Ky; as for your real father… forget he existed. He's not important and he was too much of a wuss to claim you anyway. He deserves to be forgotten." 

" Is he dead?" He leaned forward in childish curiosity. He was getting over the news. That was good. 

" Fuck, I have no clue, but I'm kinda hoping he is because I never want him in your presence." I almost smacked myself; I couldn't believe I had said something like that to him. But didn't that prove that I still cared about Kiske, though I had tried to forget. I figured if he was happy with his life then there was no need to worry about him any longer. He was a grown man, no matter how much he just wanted to be a child. 

" Um, Sol, I was wondering. I know I am prying, but what was your relationship with my father?" I blinked at the question. My mind had gone blank in a second. My relationship with Raiu? Hell, boy, you do not want to know. 

" Trust me, you don't want to know." I half rolled my eyes. 

" So, it was like that." 

" Like what?" I raised an eyebrow. So he wasn't as naive as I had thought. Well, that was good. 

" My father was fonder of you than he should have been. Was he not?" I nodded to him. " Sol, I would have never taken you to be a homosexual." I almost choked on my air. I laughed at the boy. It was a long and hard laugh that left him puzzled and a bit shy. I was confusing him. " Was, I wrong?" he meekly put his hands on his lap. When I gained control I answered him. 

" Yes, and no, boy." He blinked a question at me. " Well, let me put it this way. As a gear, my thinking pattern and body are different. That much I'm sure you guessed. You see, my emotions are much different than when I was a human. I do not have this drive that you experience. I have no fear of being an outcast by society since I have been for years. It's like this boy; I am a gear. I do not have the gender barrier you have. In fact, for years on end, I had not thought of love or any of its accursed relatives. So for me, Raiu's affections were purely emotionally based." 

" They were?" He moved the hair out of his face. 

" Yes, none of that French lovey dovey, Paris: City of love, shit." I laughed a bit more. " He knew how I felt, none of those dramatic moments. Sorry, so I don't really have some daring love story to tell you." I was simmering to a chuckle now. 

" Then what about my mother." He was getting serious again." What was she to him, if he loved you?" 

" Oh, her? Oh, he loved her at first. Really he did. " I put my hands up in slight defense. " The only problem is she's a cheating bitch. So of course his fondness for her faded." 

" Then why did he stay with her?" 

" Oh," I was a bit surprised at the question. " For you and your sister, of course. He wanted to give you a normal life, so he stayed with her. Ah, " I looked fondly out the window. " How he did love you two though. I did as well. I couldn't blame him. You and your sister were so cute together. And you were obedient to her every whim. I think she would have made a great mother if she had lived." 

" You really thought that much of us?" He was stern like usual. Seems someone had pushed that petrified log back up his ass, Oh well. 

" Of course I did, boy. You were like family to me. I mean, between Raiu and your Sister. Heh, Méloné, that little girl had spunk and guts, just like her father. Man, it's amazing what traits are passed on. You, on the other hand, I have a feeling you act like someone from the church." I stood up. " Now, where are Raiu's diaries? Might as well read the rest of them." 

" I will go get them." He said getting up and walking past me and up the stairs. I sat down and leaned back. This was going to be interesting to say the least. He returned with all three books. Raiu had told me about them. Each one only held a time frame of his life: the first one was when he was young, the second when he was a teen, and the third when he was an adult. The boy sat down and took out the second one putting the others to the side. 

" The first one contains a lot about how my father hated his new family. It is se one that mentions you. This one, " he held up the second. it was black with a pentagram in it. " is new to me. I have not read it yet." 

" Then by all means read it to me, Boy." I got comfortable. It was story time. I figure I knew half of what was in the second book and almost all that was in the third. The second one was mostly about Céline and his adventures with Yves and Hector. Those two boys, Yves (2) and Hector, were always getting in and out of trouble. They had a thing for blowing shit up and then getting into deep trouble for it. At the very least they were imaginative. At this time in Raiu's life he was studying languages for his future career. He also had taken a liking to Star Gazers at this time, and other assorted flowers. It was because the wench Céline had entered his life. Her favorite flower was the Star Gazer. The interesting part of this was when it got to me, of course. On top of even that, it mentions Sébastien a couple of times. Now that was fucked up. He had known that two timing wretch since teen hood? Great, who would have thought that his future wife would ditch him for that bastard? On the other hand, I had never liked him anyway. 

" To think, my father has known my true father for this long." He was somewhat amazed. 

" Boy, I have always hated that bitch, Céline, since the moment I saw her. Little scank..." I muttered. 

" So, is that fair of you?" He cocked his head to the side. 

" Sure it is! Listen Ky, I know you're young, but after you live as long as I do, you learn. OK? When I was a human, I was just like every other guy, clueless. Women made no sense so I don't even try to figure them out. Then I got with it after about 76 years of life. Women are really in control." I gave him a knowing grin. "Do you think the human race would be around if men were really in control? Hell no! Human men are led by testosterone and have clouded judgment when their honor, pride, or some other fantasy is challenged." I grinned wider. " I've lived a long time boy. Women KNOW what they are doing most of the time. Don't get me wrong, there are girls that are clueless and need brain transplants, but for the most part, they are in control. Male domination is all a tricky illusion, a very pleasant one that they like to keep up. You know what they say, behind every good man, is a good woman." 

" Sol!" He huffed finally smiling in amusement. 

" What? What? I'm serious! That wench looked sweet on the outside, and I'm sure she was a good person. But there is no way around it. Woman are the most devious, back stabbing, jealous creatures on the earth when they want to be. Sure, men can come damn close, but woman have this odd edge. As if they took a bigger bite of that damn apple. Hell, they probably did." 

" Since when have you believed in the Bible?" He said. 

" I don't, I'm just speaking in terms that you can understand. I would hate for you to strain your brain." He snorted at the insult and his smile faded. That was ok; I meant to do that. The French can be so anal. 

" Sol. Here's one about you, I think. At the very least I see your name." I rolled my eyes. 

_Date : May 23, 2145_

_ Today was great. EVERYTHING went right. My stepsisters have been married off to some poor saps in a double wedding. I guess that's what happens when you're twins. I'm just so glad that they are out of the house. The only draw back is now there is more time to pay attention to me. I have a feeling the number of diary entries will increase as stress mounts. Oh well. Yves and Hector have finally gotten out of trouble. They had blown their sister's Barbie sky high. Céline has started to pay attention to me a little more. But what makes this day very special is that Sol has finally returned. And nothing has changed about him either. He even still pronounces french the same why. I damn near cried. It had been seven years since I last saw him and I had missed him so much. I think he cut his hair. Well, that doesn't much matter. I introduced him to Hector and Yves and they were asking him questions about being a bounty hunter. I would have thought him to be annoyed but he didn't seem to mind. Even if it did embarrass the hell out of me! Céline didn't like him very much, but she was pleasant and not rude to him in any way. That is good._

_ + Raiu_

"Well, isn't that cute, boy? I feel all warm inside." I put my hand to my face, pretending to cry. I made a few choking sounds for affect and I SWEAR I heard a snort. I looked up to see a very discontented Kiske. " What, what?' I shrugged. 

" You take this so lightly. These are my father's feelings you are laughing at." His eyes narrowed on my headband. " Or are you going to tell me that it is because you are a gear that you can not take pity on it." 

" Aw geez, boy," I leaned back." Don't be so stiff. Of course I respect his feelings. That's why I left him." I said and he gave me a bewildered look. 

" That is why you left him?" He set the book down. " What do you mean, Sol?" 

" Well," A waved my hand in dismissal. " I couldn't very well keep him." I sighed." When I left, I was thinking of his feelings. I'm a gear, boy, a GEAR. The most hated thing on the planet. How, in this world, could I have kept a lover? He would have found out you know. I couldn't keep this secret from him. On top of that, I can't stay in one place as a bounty hunter." 

" But, " He leaned forward in protest." He did care for you." 

" Sure, sure!" I took a breath and it sounded remorseful to my own ears." You are not seeing it boy. I am ageless as you see me now. I am old. " I laughed." I belong in the fucking LOUVE. He would have aged and died while I would have stayed the same damn way. How could I put that on him? I mean, what about me here? Do you honestly think I wanted to?" 

" I..." He gave me a sympathetic look. I knew he understood. 

" Yes, boy," I had turned serious. " I had loved him, and while I admit to hating your mother I was happy that he loved her." I sighed heavily. Mushy stuff was just not me, but I felt compelled to make him understand what Raiu was to me. Maybe it was because I was fond of the boy. Maybe it was because of Raiu, and that the boy was his son. 

" Shall we read the rest?" He held the book up and I nodded to him. The rest of the Diary held very few details about our encounters, just his feelings about it. I guess he figured there was no point in making it in-depth. All his diary was for was to record his feelings, and I didn't blame him. That's when I noticed a pattern. Every time he met me he had recorded what we had done. Even times I didn't remember, and I had a moderately good memory about Raiu. This led me to remember one very important night. In turn with reviving this memory in my head, I stopped Kiske. 

" Woah, boy. Stop there." He looked at me at me perplexed. " There are some things that you do NOT need to read. In fact, the way this is going, you will not WANT to read it." 

" But, I want to know everything I can about my father." He almost whined. 

" Yeah, well, there are some things that aren't meant to be said aloud. So read on in silence please." I sat back and almost smirked as he continued to read. So the boy read, and read, and read some more. Then he read and made a mighty fine face, I think. He blinked a couple of times, so childlike. Then he looked at me, back to the book, and back to me again. I grinned. 

" You... and..." He pointed to the book, " I... how? When did...?" He was not really confused but more of bewildered. He maybe was in shock. 

" What are you babbling about, Kiske?" I pretended to be annoyed and rolled my eyes. 

" When," He took a breath." did YOU and my father... do, do this!?" He held the book up and I could read it clearly. I chuckled holding back full blow laughter. 

" Trust me, we're men, we find time." I laughed and he grew red. 

" Find time?! How can you find TIME!? My father was in school! He had a life, and a future girlfriend and wife..." I cut him off in his embarrassed fury 

" And a libido like you wouldn't believe!" I left him shocked and smoldering with venomous scorn. He didn't care much for my tone about his father. I guess that's how those pure ones are. His ears were probably hurting like hell. Him and his holy self, but that's how the people of the Seikishidan are, holier than thou. "Anyway kid. It just happened. Alright?" he was calming down. 

" Alright..." He closed his eyes and simmered his rage down. In reality, the night I took Raiu was not planned in the slightest. Raiu had showed at my hotel room. I hadn't even known he had followed me. 

~ Flash Back ~ 

_ I had entered my hotel room after a long day. That kid hadn't changed a bit. Spunky and bratty as ever. The only thing is I think his mouth had gotten smaller than I last remember. Why I liked the boy was beyond me. I had never liked bratty kids before, and the condition he put me in made it even worse. I heard a knock on the door and I said come in immediately. There was nothing to hide. The door opened and there was the kid, looking sad and beaten as he walked in._

_ " Sol, where are you going?" He looked up at me. I knew what the problem was, and I didn't want to face it but I knew I had to. That's the sad thing with being an adult. You have to take all the responsibility, and if you don't, you look like a fool._

_ " Boy.... " I sighed and he closed the door, " You don't know who I am." Actually, in reality, he just didn't know WHAT I am._

_ " But, Sol, I know what you are like." He looked at me with the most pleading eyes and he took hold of my chest belt. He pulled on it a bit trying to make me understand. I understood what he was saying quite clearly. " I don't mean your past, but you as a person." His eyes started to water, and if there is ONE thing humans do that I'm weak to, it's crying. For the love of God, I wish they wouldn't do that. It makes me all mushy and shit. I put my hands on his shoulders and it felt odd to me. My hands were big enough to cup them and hold him steady. He seemed so frail to me, like a china doll. His big green eyes glazed over as he tried to stop himself form crying. As a seventeen-year-old boy, it's pretty embarrassing to cry._

_ " Raiu," I got his full attention. " I can't stay." I knew I had to be stern with him, even if it was hard. " You know I can't, boy. So, please, for yourself, don't even try to stop me." I said to him and his eyes filled and he cried right there, in front of me and every part of my being. I hadn't felt the emotion of grief in a long time, and I thought that I would not ever feel it again after I was turned into a gear. I never knew I would feel this way so drastically, or at least I never thought it to be over someone ever again. He moved forward leaning his head and resting it on his hand, the one that was still hooked on my belt. I took pity on him, or more of, on myself. I put my arms around him. It took quite a lot of bending down to do so. He wasn't very tall; I would say five feet and six inches. He hadn't grown much since I last saw him._

_ " Sol... So, I will never see you again?" The smaller boy choked. He slowly turned his head to look up at me and I know I melted. Damn you fucking humans! What the hell did I do that was so wrong that I deserve to be cried at!? I had him in my arms cradling his body. I stroked his hair and cursed his affect on me._

_ " Yeah, boy. Why not?" I tried to sound humorous._

_ " It won't be for a long time will it?" He was in a depression of sorts._

_ " Yeah, that's right, Raiu."_

_ " Then..." I watched in shock as he moved up and kissed me. I was paralyzed for a few seconds before I gave into it and kissed him back. The only problem is, it went from kissing in the middle of the room, to sitting him down on my bed, to stripping him of his clothes, and finally taking his virginity. What the HELL was I thinking? Taking Raiu like that, I should be slapped! I shouldn't have touched the boy. Yes, that was my downfall; I touched him. I knew it was a bad idea, but NO, I couldn't help myself. I just had to touch him. He and his untanned self. The only good thing is that I had not hurt him too badly. He WAS a developing boy and still had some growing to do. However, that's not what I'm really worried about. I'm worried that I will end up emotionally scarring the lad. I mean, I am no romantic but I know that a human's body is a precious thing. The fact that he let me do that to him was beyond me. I thought for sure he would have stopped me, but no, he had wanted it. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if he had planned that from the start._

_ " I'd better go." He sat up in the bed and cringed from the cold. I felt up his back relieving some of the chill. He was cute when he was naked. He looked defenseless and childlike, though to me everyone that looked younger than I was a child. He leaned back kissing me again then went, took a shower, got dressed and left without a second glance. For a second I almost felt like a slut but then I slapped myself. How dare I even think of that. His last kiss WAS his second glance. I know him, he didn't want to see me before he left or he might not have left with so much strength. I sighed and went to sleep only to dream of killing._

~ Flash Forward ~ 

" Heh..." I relayed my memory to the kid and I think he was starting to feel sorry for me. He always gave me that look when he was conflicting with himself. It was a look that hid most of what it wanted to express, I guess being a gear was still affecting his judgment of me. 

" Sol, I would have never though you to be one to love." He whispered. 

" Trust me boy, there was no one after or before your father." I started to laugh because I couldn't believe how serious I was being about the entire situation, but I guess that proves that I really did still care greatly about Raiu and his family. Like I've said, I loved Raiu's family. I loved his little girl almost as if she were mine. Deeming I have never had children before. I guess she was the closest I ever had to a daughter. 

€~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry Book Two ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~€   
«~ Kiske ~« 

In my life I would have never thought that Sol Badguy would have ever loved anything or anyone. He was rude, lazy, and had no respect for anyone! I could not believe that my father had fallen for such a barbarous, street fighting, asshole! i had always tried to strongly believe that there was good in everyone but Sol had been my one exception. Now I know that he is my old mentor of whom I cared dearly about. On top of that he was my father's lover? That was enough for one day. Not only all that, but I was not my fathers blood child. Whose child am I then? I feel so alienated now. I had at first felt the security of having once had a family, and now I know that in reality, I didn't really belong there. I was another man's son. While I can't say I have many found memories of my mother. The ones I have are of a caring and compassionate woman. Now what I want to know is who my real father is, and is he alive? 

" Why are you laughing Sol? What is just so funny?!" I was yelling. He stopped for a few seconds and I felt relief but then he started back up and it was harder than before. He even fell off his chair and continued his blasphemous cackling. He was a witch. I knew it! He had to be. This was a serious matter. How could he treat it so lightly? 

" Boy!" He continued to laugh and I dug my fingers into the cloth below me. 

" I don't see what's so funny! This is my past we are talking about! I know you don't care about my pain but at the very least, in the memory of my father, could you please be serious!" I was almost snarling, I could feel it. He got up so quickly that I had little time to react before I found my chin firmly in his left hand. He face was deadly serious and he had the look of danger on his face. 

" Boy, you don't know what pain is." He said still looking into my eyes and making me pay attention. " How about you roam the earth feeling like you don't belong?" 

" Sol, I..." I regretted my words. 

" Shut the FUCK up, boy!" He slipped his hand around my neck and pulled me closer. His gaze was burning me. " What do you know of pain? Yes, you are an orphan; that is painful. I give you that, but let it be known that I am an orphan to the world." I opened my eyes in shock. When he was human? He too was an orphan, and that broke my heart. I didn't struggle with him. I just looked at him, and into his wild eyes. If he had wanted to he could have snapped my neck. I could see his muscles contracting to do so and his hand got tighter. Then it would loosen only to tighten again. He was a gear, and they were born killers as I was taught, but as an ex-human, had he retained so much of his formal self? He had the ability to love, that much I knew, but what about the rest of him? 

I looked into his eyes and saw them burning. It was not in hatred but in self-loathing. So even as a gear he could feel shame. Maybe I had been entirely wrong about him. There is a mask that protects us all, but after so long I think that he had mastered his. Flawless and unbreakable to the point that only in his eyes does one truly get a glimpse of the real him. Who are you, Sol Badguy? Why did you become a gear? What is your will to fight them? Did they destroy a piece of you, too? Yes, yes they must have, for there is a hatred of them within you. 

My memories were starting to return to me even faster. It was because something about his eyes was dragging me back. Now I think I remember you even better, Sol. Yes, Sol Badguy, my mentor and most cherished friend. What happened to you? When I was a child you were full of sorrow but I could never see your hatred then. You must have hidden it from me. I remember the first day that we met. I was how old Sol? Yes, I was very young; I barely knew how to find my way around my grandparent's house, let alone the streets. 

~ Flash Back ~ 

_ Oh no! I am lost, I am lost! My parents are never going to find me and I will never see them again! Where's my sister? There are the shipping docks over there but I am not sure how far my house is from here. Where am I? I looked around hoping that my sister had come looking or me. I am sure that she was. She would be so angry with me because I know that I am worrying her. As I searched among the people and buildings my white shorts got caught on a crate. I yanked and they were free even if they did tear. My grandmother would not be happy with me for that, but then I tripped and hurt myself._

_ " Quelque chose ne va pas?" I heard as richly deep voice say. I looked up to find a man only a few feet away from me. He was big and showed of the fighting kind._

_ " J'ai mal au genou, et je me perdre." I said sobbing a bit in pain and sitting looking at the cuts._

_ " Aw, pauvre vieux!" He chuckled and walked up to me bending down and holding out his had. " Allez."_

_ I got up at his command and weakly walked over to him and he picked me up. He was strong and solid. Almost like a teddy bear without all of the fluff (3). He gave me a look and I was able to get a clear look into his eyes. There was something odd about them. He did not seem old at all but his eyes said something much different. They looked tired and ready to die. He had a pleasant smile on his face but his eyes displayed misery. He guided me through the crown and we traveled down several streets. I had not noticed that I had traveled so far away form the house, but low and behold, we turned the corner and there was my grandparent's home. My mother ran out of the house frantically and took me form his arms. She scattered my face with kisses and I was relieve to be home. The man had not introduced himself to my mother but she gave him an odd look._

_ " Tu te retournes..." She seemed upset and did not smile at him._

_ " Oui... " He nodded and grinned at her then turned to me and smiled. My mother did not seem too pleased but I liked that man. I could not see why she did not. He turned and I got full view of his red tinted brown hair. It is the longest hair I have ever seen. There are women of whom hair does not go to their knees. " See ya." He waved with his back to us and walked away._

_ " Bye!" (4) I waved cheerfully at him but my mother continued to glare. I wonder who that man is?_

~ Flash Present ~ 

He let go of me and I stepped back, fingering the design on the chair. I opened my mouth to speak but I forgot my English.   
" There's nothing you can say, boy." He stalked over to the chair he was using and plopped down angrily. He looked out the window and I followed his gaze. Lord in heaven! It was night already. I guess with all the reading and talking, we had not kept track of the time. 

" Sol..." He made a noise confirming that he had heard me. " Would you spend then night here?" I tried to sound normal but even to my own ears I sounded mournful. That was because I truly did regret my earlier words. With all the things I thought Sol was, I had never really known anything about him. I had never even questioned him or myself. What did I know of him but faded memories? 

" Sure... why not?" He fluttered an eye in my direction and returned to his gazing. He exhaled and stood up. " Where to, boy?" he asked me and I moved a little jerkily. 

" This way..." I walked past him, through white halls, and up the stairs to a room. It was the guest room. Furnished with a light brown atmosphere. He entered without a word and set down a duffle bag I hadn't even noticed he had. Where was my mind when he came? Well, that certainly didn't matter as of now. " Oh... I totally forgot, how rude of me. Are you hungry, Sol?" 

" No." He glanced back at me. He had been here for hours but I didn't question him. There's something about a man like him. You don't question them when they're angry, no matter how much you want to. I walked down the stairs and grabbed something small before retiring to my own room.   
€~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry Book Two ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~€   
Zeero's Notes :   


1. Actually, Kiske is only two inches under Sol. In fact, that makes him as tall as me! I'm 5' 10".   
2. Pronounced: Eve.   
3. HEY! He's a... Freddy Gear! Yes, and for only 19.99 you can get yours today! The number is : 1800 - Sol - Gear   
4. Yes, little Ky knows English... well some, gotta start early! 

Translation:   
A. Good Day. (if you don't know this one contact your nearest French teacher)   
B. Hi. (informal way to say hi and bye)   
C. Do you want some tea?   
D. No, thank you. (this is basic French!)   
E. Is something wrong?   
F. My knee hurts and I am lost.   
G. Poor thing! Come. (actually, allez means 'go' but in this case, 'come')   
H. You've returned.   
I. Yes 


	3. The Innate vs The Innate

I need to let out some stress from all the sap I've put in this fic so far. Plus, I am usualy the comic type and as you can see, there hasn't been much comedy so far. Plus, I have some new spiffy things to do with the Furaiken and Fuenken connection! Go magical swords! 

My point of view... ooohh... spiffy.... (easily amused) This is a two part chapter. Please excuse the errors and what not. I'll have it fixed soon enough. This is a short chapter. 

The Innate vs The Innate   
Heaven or Hell   
Let's Rock! 

€~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry Book Three (1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~€ 

{::I live everyday the same::} 

In a vast field that is a painting, Fredrick stood in a field of silver pillars. Once he encased himself in his mind, he picked his favorite realist painting as his mental home. His special pillars weilded together and held pools of purple water. It really was a dream world. These columbs served as barriors and steps. The only way up or down for anyone in there. 

" You said too much." A stern voice said. Fredrick turned to see his dominant self. He moved a stray hair from his face. He was much different than his counterpart. He was not built, his hair was short and messy. Most of all, he did not have a headband on. Fredrick sighed offereing a small smile to his companion. The scientist fixed his glasses and cracked his neck. 

" Maybe I had." He grinned a bit in amusment. A fake wind blew his labcoat and tusled both of their hair. He wore white khaki pants and black leather shoes. His shirt was open revieling a tanktop. Many would not have believed him to have once been the top mastermind behind the Gear Project. 

{::In pain and suffering::} 

" What were you thinking? I knew I shouldn't have allowed you to be in control." Sol said crossing his arms and offering no comfort of formality. 

" Aw, Sol," Fredrick smiled putting his hands in his pockets. " Don't you understand? You wanted to tell him too." Sol stood there looking at him. He knew this was true, he had wanted Ky Kiske to know who he was. 

{::I don't live for life::} 

" I don't deny it, however, your overly kind nature shines through." Sol stared silently at Fredrick and watched his counterpart's amused smile. 

{::I live for death::} 

" Oh, but Sol, don't be so stiff about these things. Aren't you suppose to be a party animal?" His smile fadded as he continued to watch Sol in silence. 

" Awakening his memories was a mistake. You know that." Sol sighed and his expression lifted slightly. " Would you have him in pain? 

" Sol," The scientist cocked his head to the left. " Always a secretly sentimental one." Fredrick exhaled and knew it was true. He was fond of Kiske, and so was Sol. Because of their natural connection, he knew that his feelings were transfered over to Sol and vice versa. They were an odd sort of split personality. 

{::In my mind I am dying slowly::} 

" With the earth basically safe, we shall soon die." Sol's monotone hurt Fredrick a bit but he knew Sol was right. " After we find that man, we will kill him, and then we too shall die. That is our own personal mission." 

" Yeah, I know," He scratched his head. " I just can't believe our chapter is coming to an end. After over 150 years, we can finally die." 

" And if it happens in his lifetime, he will cry." Sol's eyes were level and cruel, just as Fredrick had once been before the split. 

{::But to others I am very much alive::} 

" Yeah, I know... I shouldn't have told him, but...." 

" You wanted to be known." Sol slowly blinked, he was deep in his own thoughts, which weren't that personal but it did not matter for him. " Fredrick, tears are for humans...." 

" Always one with the rays of sunshine, aren't you Sol?" 

{::All I have done all my life is die::} 

" I'm being realistic. Once we die, the entire Gear mess will be over with. Our exsistance isn't recognizesed as is. What would be the point other than to see someone else in pain." 

Fredrick shrugged. " Sorry. I was hoping that maybe Kiske would take us down. Make him more of a hero than he already is." 

" He's not strong enough. He wouldn't kill us, because we wouldn't fight him. The boy will never except it." 

{::All there is left is suiside...::} 

" Then shall we kill ourselves?" Fredrick suggested. 

" Of course, we can't ask anyone else. In this time period, people are both cold and afraid to kill." 

" Yes, that's right...." He stepped down the silver stairs and walked towards Sol, stopping a few feet away. " Life is precious, more so now than ever, because man has found its preditor." 

{::All I want is a slow demise::} 

" I'll take care of the rest of our visit." Sol said sternly. 

" As I expected you would..." Fredrick sighed heavily knowing what would come of the next day. " Are you going to...?" 

" Yes..." Fredrick's couterpart said. Sol moved and walked away into the darkness. He was returning to the countious world. The body was begining to wake, Fredrick sat down, and looked up to the black void sky. 

" Dear boy, for a moment I reached you. I'm sorry, but you can't remeber me, or Sol... or anything about us." He sighed and leaned back folding his arms behind his head. 

€~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry Book Three (1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~€   
Zeero's Notes : 

Poem :   
~ Sol Badguy ~   
**Slow Demise**   
By: Garrett   
garrett.green@pemail.net   
http://blood.tsotb.com/ 

Disclaimer: The poem IS, of course, not mine. I write no disclaimer to Guilty Gear because everyone KNOWS that I don't own it. This IS FANfiction.net. If I owned it, it would be in the original works section. ^_^ We're all brainy people. The poetry at the site is fantastic. 


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